Allies and Sustainability

I didn’t work with allies, ancestors, spirits in my practice as a witch, until six years ago. They just never came up – when I called them, there was just a nothingness. I believed that was how it was meant to be, for me.

Then six years ago, at an Initiation path at California Witchcamp, they did come up. Four came to me – one I knew, three I’d never seen. And a lot about my practice changed.

I thought these four were bringing me magical practices, shamanic connection – I thought they were about deepening my spiritual practice, particularly my personal spiritual practice. And they were about that; but I realize, looking back, that they came into my life primarily for the purpose of sustainability.

It’s the Pierced One I work with most – a warrior, painted, pierced all over, and strong. The first time we met I think we both thought: what on earth – why would we be allies to each other? I saw why, in time. And I thought this fierce warrior would be all about me becoming more of a warrior, too.

Instead, I think we’ve shifted things for each other. He insists I make time to listen to him. He insists on accompanying me when I go to ritual, or to facilitate ritual. He tells me he is of Fire, and I am of Fire, and he’s here to teach me how to be of Fire in a way that’s grounded. And of late, he tells me: go rest, you’ve done too much. Ground. Breathe, and drink water –

There have been other spirits coming in, most recently a green blood I was aspecting in this year’s Summer Solstice ritual who was coldly furious at me for asking it to come indoors, rather than meeting it in its own realm. “Why are you with all these people?” it asked. “We want you to ourselves, out in the wild.” And I don’t ask for the sacred to speak to me so I can ignore it – so I listened.  I’m backing away from group commitments, and making space for a more personal commitment.

It doesn’t escape me that these allies are showing me a way to transition – at 69 – from the demands of group leadership and facilitation, into something quieter. Something in which my feet are on both sides of the veil, and moving, more and more, toward that far side, in dream and practice. They are caring, and comforting. I told the Pierced One once, after a bad argument with someone I cared about, “I suck at being human! I have too much fire, I always have.” He surprised me (he generally does surprise me) by saying: “You don’t have too much fire for our side of the veil. Bring it over. We welcome it, we welcome you and all you are.”

And that acceptance also feeds my sustainability. I’m grateful to these allies. I don’t think the message they’re bringing me is something I could necessarily hear from a friend or human teacher. I’m exploring, more and more, what they lead me to, what they offer, and seeing where that takes me.

Blessings to us, the witches who walk on both sides of the veil – and learn from both.

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