Month: August 2016

Giving the body its due

Before I knew I was a witch, I read a book by Karen and Poul Anderson, The King of Ys. In it are nine priestess witches, and I was in love with the thought of being any and all of them –

At one point in the story, the King desecrates the sacred river. The nine priestess witches know the Goddess will punish the city for the King’s transgression. They send the strangest of the nine of them into deep trance, where she communes with the Goddess, placates Her, begs for forgiveness. When the priestess witch comes out of the trance, she’s a shell – the other eight put her to bed for days, nurse her, nourish her, heal her as she slowly comes back to this side of the veil, and regains her strength.

For those of you who invite the sacred to inhabit your body in aspect, I invite you to compare this process, to yours. My process is: I aspect easily, and enjoy the challenge of being of two minds (the “Goddess” mind / and the “I am the one with a body and looking out for the group” mind). I find it a seductive and captivating experience in which I always learn much that is useful. I believe it serves the group and is sacred work. While in aspect I don’t feel my usual physical challenges. And when I come out – I very much do.

I come out of aspect quickly and easily. When I come out, I feel the physical repercussions of the Goddess’s free and dancing movements. I feel a sort of backlash from being so vibrantly in tune with Her, and beyond the veil, for so long. From channeling. When I say I come out quickly and easily, I mean I look fine, can interact with the group as myself, and can drive home if I need to. But the truth is, my mind and consciousness linger on the bridge between the worlds for a day or so. I am not fully ready to be in the mundane world.

When I wake the next morning, it’s like a psychic hangover. Then I remember that priestess witch of Ys, and I long for those other eight priestess witches to care for me and support me. And – if I’m in sacred community, at witch camp or on retreat, I have that care and support. The between-the-worlds functioning I’m still caught up with is understood, accepted, even useful. So are the repercussions to my body.

And if I’m  not in sacred community? In the past, I often went into the office the next day. I looked at maps, I led teams of strategists. My poor head did its best to fully inhabit the world on this side of the veil again, with varying success.

Then I found myself remembering the priestess witch of Ys, and I realized – ok, the overculture doesn’t value or honor the work of aspecting, and doesn’t support that process. But I do value and honor it – and to be sustainable, I must support its process.

Now, if I won’t have the support of sacred community the day after aspecting, I’ve made the commitment to give myself the day after to honor this sacred process, and myself. Sacred body. My human body and mind, I remind myself, are sacred too. If I’m not going to be in sacred community after aspecting, I’ve made the commitment to stay home the day after and just be gentle with myself.

I’m not lucky enough to be a priestess witch of Ys. But that’s part of what it means to be a witch doing this work, in these troubled times. It means I walk between the worlds in a number of ways, every day. The overculture doesn’t believe that’s of value – but I do. Giving myself the time I need to fully honor the process of aspecting is a way I honor and sustain the mundane, human mind and body that support me in this work. “My body is the body of the Goddess,” as the chant says; in aspecting I’ve accepted that having Her in my body is glorious, and exacts a payment I’m willing to acknowledge and pay.

If you’d like to know more about aspecting, here is a link to an excellent article by Pomegranate Doyle that was published in Reclaiming Quarterly

http://reclaimingquarterly.org/86/rq-86-invitingdivine.html

 

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White privilege – vulnerability, no guilt

“As an activist, I run into a lot of white people who feel guilty or ashamed of their privilege. I have yet to see it do any good. Generally, it leads to paralysis and hesitation… if a person is buried deep into guilt and shame they are not much good in the battle.”
– Noreen Patience Deweese, Member, Black Lives Matter Solidarity Task Force

“Good in the battle” – I had a little internal thrill of “yes” when I read what Noreen wrote above, in a post on Facebook. That’s what I want – to know what to battle for, and then battle well.

I am in the midst of sloshing through the mire of my own privilege, and the ways I’ve been and continue to be unable to recognize it. I have some experience with that dynamic – with realizing there’s a whole landscape of perception and approach in my life that I want to change. It was the same dynamic when I began working with the concept of “I referencing” – there was a painful period of NOT I referencing, and (cringing) hearing myself just after the words had come out of my mouth.

Same thing lately, when the scales fall and I see what I couldn’t see before, for privilege. It happened to me recently when I went to an organizing meeting at the Esperanza Peace and Justice Center. The meeting was on how to save San Antonio neighborhoods from our development-crazed city government. To my surprise – we started back 150 years, and looked at all the diverse San Antonio neighborhoods that had disappeared each decade, fallen to development, to “progress”. Privilege had let me blithely believe my neighborhood was the first to be threatened – that this oppression was something new.

It would be easy – in those moments when I speak or see out of a place of privilege, and then recognize it for what it is – for me to feel guilt and shame. I don’t, or if I do, I stop going down that road as soon as I recognize what I’m doing. Sustainable spirit – I want to be good in the battle. I don’t have the energy for guilt and shame. I don’t believe they accomplish anything.

So in addition to actively seeking where white privilege influences my perception, I’m working to be willingly vulnerable without guilt. Willingly open to change without shame. Willingly able to hear what I just said that I wish I could take back. I’m willing to do that, and willing also to be kind to myself. Because this is not a one-day battle. I believe those engaged in it are in it for the long haul. I am, too.

I’m issuing a gentle invitation to myself, and to you too if you like. Instead of putting energy into guilt and shame, I’m putting my energy into a continued willingness to be open, and vulnerable. I’m taking the words of Leonard Cohen to heart: “Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

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Baubo’s challenge

I don’t believe I need to list for you the ways in which this is a time to try a witch’s soul. Even filtering what I read and know, I find I expend energy, daily, in pulling myself up out of the dark box of current events. The magical work I do, the spells I weave, the prayers I say or sing are all out of my belief that I can shift racism to respect, poison to nurturance. They express my belief that I can offset those who, as Jackson Browne says, have learned to forge the earth’s beauty into power. I have my list of what I work to change, and my guess is you have a challenging and worthwhile list of your own.

Maybe, like me, you find it hard some days to keep the faith. Headlines, Facebook, the abuses of power, the ignorance of the fearful can all get me down. Then I remember the story of Demeter and Baubo.

In the ancient myth, Demeter is crushed by her sorrow at the loss of her daughter, who was (in some versions) abducted by Hades and taken to the underworld. Demeter is so distraught that she withdraws her support for life. The earth, and all that lives on the earth, begins to die. Baubo, an old woman and a servant, comes to Demeter, and in bawdy, foolish ways, makes Demeter laugh. Through that laughter, Demeter finds herself and her role as nurturer again, and the earth comes back to life.

Some years ago, I read an analysis of the story (I wish I could remember the author…) that suggested Baubo was saying to Demeter: the women cannot despair. When the patriarchy overwhelms us, we have to keep the faith, because if we don’t – humanity will die. We cannot give in to despair. We are the nurturers of life, and we have to find a way to recommit to that, no matter what.

I knew, as soon as I read that, that it was true. That I (we) cannot give up. Sustainable spirit. And keeping the faith.

For me, this myth has expanded to include all those in my communities, all of whom are nurturers of life, and beset by the patriarchy. I am grateful for those in my communities who stay engaged in the fight, and with a sense of humor too. Their insight and their big hearts inspire me to stay engaged, and to be open to laughter – they are a big part of how I sustain my spirit.

Blessings to us, Baubos all.
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